unveiling

i don’t know if i can call my life a jackpot. i am with a man who, (not exactly the man of my dreams, but) is slightly close to the man i most wanted to be with my whole life. physically, i can say he is 95% out of 100. attitude? let’s say, he is totally responsible, caring, loving, sweet, and understanding. however, he sometimes shows his insensitivity especially when it deals with “my” emotional concerns. maybe he has gone too tired of my never-ending emotional-wreckage.

what brought me the idea of writing this blog is that i want to record all my poignant memoirs with the man i truly love. our relationship is close to perfect, not until i’ve realized that until now, i can’t and i think i could never really accept his past.

i know i should not tackle about his past anymore because all have changed already. but because of the pain he brought me, which was entirely because of his “past”, made me quite emotionally disturbed and jaded. i don’t really like the feeling. i want to forget about it but i just can’t.. and i don’t know why

we had just celebrated our 26th-monthsary last 20th.. can i still get over from the negative feeling i have? i’m so much afraid that just because of my insanity when it comes to his past, our relationship won’t work out. i know he loves me so much now and that he has totally moved on.. the only hindrance is — ME..

i love him.. and i’m afraid to lose him.. i just hate myself for being so damn emotional..

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